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There are perks to being a stay at home Mom. Unlimited snuggles, seeing all those first moments, and a relaxed atmosphere. There are also a lot of downsides that we rarely mention, like being there for every single meltdown, rarely getting out and the ever-so-common “Mama Meltdown”.
I’m not talking about that huge tantrum that Moms throw when overwhelmed, but rather a complete shutdown where you completely lose motivation and give up on everything that used to matter. Suddenly, housework gets behind, you realize that Netflix has played a bigger part in your child’s life than it ever should,gone are the “fun” Mama activities and your appearance? Yeah, let’s not go there.
I believe that every stay-at-home Mom goes through this cycle every so often. I know I do. But the truth is, when we lose our motivation, we start to lose ourselves and that leads to a much larger crisis. I think there are a few practical things we can do to minimize those seasons of low-motivation and actually redeem them into something good:
Get Dressed and Dressed Well
Never underestimate the power of wearing something you feel good in. I actually learned this concept from the Flylady, who connects being fully dressed to getting stuff done. I’ve seen this trick work so many times. There’s something about looking put together that makes you want to get out there and be awesome. Plus, you feel way better about yourself. No one likes looking in the mirror and seeing a girl they don’t even recognize. When I say dress well, I don’t mean your best pantsuit, although if that’s your thing, go for it! My version of dressing well most days is a flattering pair of yoga pants or jeans, hair simply fixed and light makeup. It doesn’t take longer than 10 minutes, but it makes a huge difference.
It’s easy to get caught up in a comparison trap. We look at those picture-perfect vacations, outfits, bodies and kids, then start to think, “Why even try?” The truth is, sometimes it’s easier to just give up than to try your hardest and not measure up to the picture in your head. I believe that God makes every single Mom unique and gives her the exact personality traits she needs to raise the little ones that He’s entrusted her with. Sometimes, it takes stepping back and doing your own thing to gain momentum in the life that God has given you.
Give Yourself a Break
Sometimes, lack of motivation is your heart telling you it’s time to rest. If you’re anything like myself, chances are, it takes a huge shout-out from your body to get you to take a break. Life works better when we are well-rested and our souls are renewed. If you suspect this might be the problem, take a day off, do those things that make you feel refreshed and start again tomorrow.
Reevaluate What Matters
Maybe your loss of motivation comes from the fact that your attention is placed in too many different directions, some of which don’t actually matter. Think about the things you hold high in your life. Are there any priorities that shouldn’t be on such a high pedestal? Is there anything that you can push aside, even for a season? The fewer things you have demanding your attention, the more things you’ll be able to do greatly.
Create a Rhythm that You Absolutely Adore
One of the things that have impacted me most as a SAHM is creating a rhythm that I adore. The things that make me want to get up in the morning are a good cup of coffee, Bible reading, cuddling my babies, seeing my sons be creative and cooking. I do my best to make room for those things every single day along with the regular mundane things like housework and laundry. 🙂 I’ve realized that in order to find motivation to live my life, I have to be living a life that I am happy with.
Motivation can be fleeting, but with these tips I’m sure we’ll be able to harness our motivation and do great things where we are.
How do you stay motivated?
I LOVE this and as a SAHM for 7 years now, I can totally relate. I definitely have times where doing the same thing day in and day out can leave me feeling unmotivated. Starting a new little project helps me out with that too. Right now I am painting a few picture frames with chalk paint and am going to make them look Vintage. Fun! All your advice is really great! This morning, like most mornings, I am enjoying a hot coffee as the sun rises. . Before roaming Pinterest, I was journaling and reading my bible. I look forward to this quiet time every morning before the kids wake up. You and I sound similar! 🙂 looking forward to checking out your blog more!
We do sound similar, Lauren! After reading about your morning, I was totally wishing that was what my morning looked like! 🙂 Your picture frames sound awesome. You’ve motivated me to start doing paint-by-numbers again. I used to LOVE them and it’s one craft project I don’t botch! <3
Thank you for a wonderful post. I feel motivated already. I can totally relate to ‘get dressed…’II tried it yesterday and when hubs got back from work he saw me and radiated the same freshness he saw in me. He seemed much happier throughout the evening and took the extra mile to make our toddler enjoy his evening too. It was a whole big chain reaction I could see in our home!!
Awh! Hena, that is so awesome! I’m so glad that hubby appreciated your effort. It sounds like one little change has started something totally new in your house. 🙂 Way to go, Mama! <3
I love this! I have been a SAHM for 13 years now and while I have wrestled at times with the fact I often feel lost in the shuffle of kids, housework, cooking and school activities, I don’t regret my decision. I know I am doing important work. I have learned also that it’s very important that I don’t forget about me. So crafting, blogging, reading, (watching Real Housewives..haha) those are things that allow me to find my center, to relax and be motivated for my “job” and at the end of the day, being a mom IS a business!
Anyhow, thank you again for sharing. I featured your article in my weekly Saturday Morning Coffee Cafe post this morning. Have a great weekend!
Wow! You are a SAHM veteran. I’m sure you have so much wisdom to share! I agree. I often feel lost too. I think it’s harder when you try to juggle the jobs of being a Mama with working from home/blogging. Thank you so much for sharing my post! <3 I loved your roundup and thought the button tree you featured was just darling! PS: I also indulge in reality TV. Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise is my guilty pleasure! 🙂
This is great advice! I agree with finding the things that make you YOU – I realized I needed coffee first thing but I couldn’t squeak past my 2yr old son’s door without him waking and the whole day beginning sans caffeine, so I moved the coffee pot to my bedroom- I set it up every night and in the am I (try) to get up an hour before he does, with hot coffee waiting, it’s easier (and a super cute little container for my creamers! ;)- I set up a comfy chair by my window with my prayer book and daily journal- I found that if I jot down my “to-do’s” (sometimes loose expectations) I can keep on track better through the day. Getting a shower and dressed is a big plus- getting to dry my hair seems like a treat now, I try to give myself that at least once a week- that really helps. I also LOVE the word Rhythm instead of schedule. I’m absolute crap at scheduling and the thought sometimes makes me very dour but the idea of it being a rhythm in my life. That really appeals to my right side brain, artsy side – THANK YOU!
I agree with the last commenter, rhythm is a MUCH more appealing word than schedule. I hear the word schedule and something within me shrivels up a little. Haha!
I have been a SAHM for three years and I have tried so many things to make it easier, or to find motivation as a SAHM, and getting dressed in the morning has been something I recently tried out. It’s really nice to feel good. Great motivation strategies. I should be starting my day in the Word as well, but my girls get up pretty early. (Still making excuses.) Any tips for early rising?
Hey, Taylor! I’m in a season of life right now where my little ones wake up with me. No matter what time I get up! So, at this moment I’m not the first one up in my house and that’s okay! Give yourself grace in this season. I will turn on a Christian video or set out some play-dough and do my Bible time with my littles in the room. Sure, there are a few interruptions, but I believe God honors my effort since I’ve seen a lot of growth because of this choice. Have a great day! <3
What a great reminder! We all need a little reset button sometimes! I need to post this on my fridge! 🙂
I loved number 1!
Omg!!!!! It’s. Like you read my thoughts!!! I’ve only been a SAHM for 6 months. And 2 of those months we spent in NICU. I’ve worked since I was 15 nonstop , so being home without a car to go is DRIVING ME INSANE!!! I LOVE being with my daughter, but I’ve found myself hating my home and dreading getting up. I just don’t wanna I’m tired of doing the SAME THING everyday. And I look at others and I’m like why can’t I do all that?
Oh, girl, I feel your pain. I spent 10 days in the NICU and that alone was enough to send me into despair! One thing that helps me is to have something I look forward to right when I wake up. Whether that’s a Bible study I adore or my favorite breakfast or even just some good coffee. ANYTHING to make getting up a little easier. It also helps to build some fun into your day. My favorite thing lately is hand lettering. I spend maybe 15 minutes a day on it, but even that helps me feel like “me”! You got this, Kasey. 🙂
Glad I found this site. I enjoy all the inspiring ideas. I know Jesus is where we draw our strength from and He helps us go on. I have three boy’s in the age range of 3,2,& 8months old. It get’s crazy sometimes and I feel most stressed over my house not being in order it makes me crazy,but I know my boy’s are only little once and memories are all we get in this life time.I have made a routine chart but it doesn’t happen like that very much because of all the needs of these litteones and breaks in between. I don’t get help from anyone or a breather so I try to refocus a lot and be as happy as I can. Sometimes I just let it all go give up the fight sit on the floor with the boy’s watch a movie,read book’s and eat some cookies. Any tips are appreciated. My worst feeling at times is I feel overwhelmed and I try not to. I look at my boy’s and I love them with all my heart,they are my blessings!!! I sometimes get overwhelmed and feel like heck with the house and everything it will be there when I feel better??
I totally get that! I’m pregnant with baby #3 and this pregnancy has made it really hard to keep up with anything. What helped me is making a small list of 5 (or less) things that are must-dos each day. My list right now is make the beds, keep up with laundry/dishes, and keep my living room livable. My kids help with the living room, so that helps! 🙂 Don’t feel guilty. I think every Mama gets overwhelmed. I really love how you’re making a choice to choose joy and to thrive in this season! It inspires me!