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Hi, I’m Cate and I’m a Type A Mama. I worry about my babies constantly. I vacuum my floors ten times a day and when life doesn’t go as planned..I tend to have a meltdown that rivals the wicked witch of the west. Simply put, I like life to be safe, my family to be put together (at least from the outside) and I hate feeling like I don’t have a handle on something.
I’m sure all of you laid-back Mama’s are rolling your eyes and saying, “Girl, you’re a MAMA! You really don’t have a handle on anything!” Trust me, I’m learning this along with a few other lessons that I wanted to share with you all today. I encourage you to take hold of these simple truths and save yourself a lot of anxiety and Mama guilt!
You Aren’t In Control
I create plans like nobody’s business. Color coded schedules are my specialty, but when your toddler is just not feeling 2 PM crafts, there’s no negotiating. When my newly walking little man falls face first, there’s going to be times when I just can’t catch him. It’s moments like these that I truly realize the frailty of my humanity and have to realize that I am not in control. Ultimately, the only one who is in control is God. He plans our days, He gives my children safety, He gives me the grace to live an intentional life. When I give up my reins, or at least place them a little more loosely in my hands, I find that I can breathe again. It all comes down to trusting Someone greater than myself with my little ones.
Mama Guilt Can Be Defeated
Mama guilt is a Type A Mama’s best friend. It gets amplified because of the need for perfection. When something isn’t perfect (which it NEVER is!), we start to feel guilty. We wonder what more we could have done for our child, ask ourselves if they felt loved, and if we keep our minds on these thoughts, we can be totally defeated before our heads hit the sheets. But if we’re looking at our emotions and lives through what we have in Christ, we have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). That guilt that we feel isn’t from God! We can pick ourselves up at the end of the day, ask for the grace we need to carry on and trust God to fill in those little gaps that we didn’t quite fill.
You Can’t Do It Alone
Recently, I was promoting something very important to my business. It was a stressful week and my Mom came in and brought me a couple of meals and helped do my dishes. My initial response was to immediately feel like I wasn’t doing enough and to try to pitch in. This has actually happened a few times. There’s something about being a woman in this day and age that makes us feel like we have to be invincible or we should just cease to exist altogether. I’m not sure if it’s social media or the glorified busyness, but instead of accepting that it takes a village to raise a child, we try to be our own one-man island.
That doesn’t really work. We need sweet men and women to come alongside us and help us in our times of weakness. It’s important to have shoulders to lean on because we can’t be everything to everyone every time.
It’s Okay to Have Grace-Filled Days
The house wasn’t anywhere near as clean as I’d like, the boys were still in their pajama bottoms and nothing had gotten done. Well, except comforting two teething little men. In the past, I would have thought of this as a “lazy day” and that term was anything but positive. In fact, the term lazy day was the same as a failure in my mind. But today, I chose to see this slow day as a grace-filled day. A time where I could focus not on the to-dos but the people in my life.
It’s alright to have those days where you give yourself lots and lots of grace. The housework will still be there tomorrow and chances are, you’ll make many more memories. You’ll show the people in your life that you are present and that you value them. Hint: If you struggle with this idea, plan an intentional lazy day. Watch movies, wear pajamas, make a treat and just simply be. It’s healing for your heart. 🙂
While having a Type A personality brings a lot of good, we need a certain level of balance. How do you keep your anxiety levels down? Do you consider yourself to be Type A?
Awww, as a laid back mom, I felt sorry for you being a Type A…. til I read your post and saw myself in there over and over!! There is something about a mama bear instinct that God gives mommies to strongly long for so much of the very best for our babes! No matter their age and stage in life! For mothers, and for people in the ministry and for those walking out what God has called them to do, in motherhood or not, there is no better place to be than to realize we are too small and He is big enough!
I think every Mama struggles with these things from time to time. 🙂 My own Mom is extremely laid back and I see these things in her. I agree! Our Mama bear instinct is a gift. 🙂 <3
Cate thank you so very much for your post. Found this through pinterest and this EXACTLY what i needed to read 🙂 I’m mum to a wonderful almost four month old boy and constantly beating myself up about the state of the house and my to do list which feels about a mile long!
Praying that God can help me get better at living in the moment. Grace filled days are a great way to look at life 🙂 thanks again
Thank you so much, Rachel! Congratulations on your little one! You are awesome! <3 🙂
I’m definitely a type A mama so I feel your pain!! I want organisation and I like crossing things off my many, many lists. I’m trying to adjust my expectations, but its hard to change the habits of a lifetime!!
You are so right! It is hard. Especially when it’s your natural-born personality type! If I get too list-obsessed I’ll write a small list with easy things like “Make Bed, Get Dressed, etc.” Then I have the fun of crossing things off a list without the rush of a huge to-do list! <3