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Hi, I’m Cate and I’m a Type A Mama. I worry about my babies constantly. I vacuum my floors ten times a day and when life doesn’t go as planned..I tend to have a meltdown that rivals the wicked witch of the west. Simply put, I like life to be safe, my family to be put together (at least from the outside) and I hate feeling like I don’t have a handle on something.
I’m sure all of you laid-back Mama’s are rolling your eyes and saying, “Girl, you’re a MAMA! You really don’t have a handle on anything!” Trust me, I’m learning this along with a few other lessons that I wanted to share with you all today. I encourage you to take hold of these simple truths and save yourself a lot of anxiety and Mama guilt!
You Aren’t In Control
I create plans like nobody’s business. Color coded schedules are my specialty, but when your toddler is just not feeling 2 PM crafts, there’s no negotiating. When my newly walking little man falls face first, there’s going to be times when I just can’t catch him. It’s moments like these that I truly realize the frailty of my humanity and have to realize that I am not in control. Ultimately, the only one who is in control is God. He plans our days, He gives my children safety, He gives me the grace to live an intentional life. When I give up my reins, or at least place them a little more loosely in my hands, I find that I can breathe again. It all comes down to trusting Someone greater than myself with my little ones.
Mama Guilt Can Be Defeated
Mama guilt is a Type A Mama’s best friend. It gets amplified because of the need for perfection. When something isn’t perfect (which it NEVER is!), we start to feel guilty. We wonder what more we could have done for our child, ask ourselves if they felt loved, and if we keep our minds on these thoughts, we can be totally defeated before our heads hit the sheets. But if we’re looking at our emotions and lives through what we have in Christ, we have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). That guilt that we feel isn’t from God! We can pick ourselves up at the end of the day, ask for the grace we need to carry on and trust God to fill in those little gaps that we didn’t quite fill.
You Can’t Do It Alone
Recently, I was promoting something very important to my business. It was a stressful week and my Mom came in and brought me a couple of meals and helped do my dishes. My initial response was to immediately feel like I wasn’t doing enough and to try to pitch in. This has actually happened a few times. There’s something about being a woman in this day and age that makes us feel like we have to be invincible or we should just cease to exist altogether. I’m not sure if it’s social media or the glorified busyness, but instead of accepting that it takes a village to raise a child, we try to be our own one-man island.
That doesn’t really work. We need sweet men and women to come alongside us and help us in our times of weakness. It’s important to have shoulders to lean on because we can’t be everything to everyone every time.
It’s Okay to Have Grace-Filled Days
The house wasn’t anywhere near as clean as I’d like, the boys were still in their pajama bottoms and nothing had gotten done. Well, except comforting two teething little men. In the past, I would have thought of this as a “lazy day” and that term was anything but positive. In fact, the term lazy day was the same as a failure in my mind. But today, I chose to see this slow day as a grace-filled day. A time where I could focus not on the to-dos but the people in my life.
It’s alright to have those days where you give yourself lots and lots of grace. The housework will still be there tomorrow and chances are, you’ll make many more memories. You’ll show the people in your life that you are present and that you value them. Hint: If you struggle with this idea, plan an intentional lazy day. Watch movies, wear pajamas, make a treat and just simply be. It’s healing for your heart. 🙂
While having a Type A personality brings a lot of good, we need a certain level of balance. How do you keep your anxiety levels down? Do you consider yourself to be Type A?